Divorce Advice

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This page is all about helping you get started on the right path. Start with the Simple Divorce Mission Statement and work your way through the worksheets and checklists. Or start with the eJournal. You’ll stay organized, save time and money, and feel better because you’ll know you’re prepared. Be sure and share your copies with the people and professionals who are helping you through this process..

 

Mission Statement

A mission statement for your divorce is your compass guiding you away from conflict and toward peace. There will be many tempting distractions during your divorce. Your mission statement will keep you on track.

You can use the following ideas to craft your divorce mission statement. Select the ideas that resonate most with your core values. Click on as many as you’d like to create your mission statement and then print it below:

At the end of my divorce, I want the following to be true:

I was kind and honest throughout the entire process.
My children have two supportive parents committed to co-parenting.
We did not have to go to court to settle our divorce.
We spent as little money as possible on our divorce, preserving assets to be split between us versus paying lawyers.
Our financial responsibility was divided fairly.
I still respect my former spouse and our relationship is friendly, cordial and civil.
I realize my marriage was not a complete mistake and value the years I was with my spouse.
Our children understand and are reminded that our divorce is not their fault.
I am committed to being cooperative and respectful when my spouse engages with the world as a single person (dating, working, making new friends, etc.).
I took responsibility for any feelings of abandonment, rejection, fear, anger, grief and guilt I had, without blaming or shaming my spouse.

I will make sure that the above statements are realized by doing the following:

I will ask for advice from people who are a positive influence, and then follow that advice.
I will put my children’s best interests above my own.
I will take care of myself physically and emotionally.
I will forgive myself and my spouse for getting divorced.
I will focus on moving forward rather than getting bogged down in the past.
I will accept situations rather than manipulating outcomes.
I will focus on what is important, both short term and long term.
I will use written goals and journaling to track my progress.
I will not use my divorce to be punish toward myself or my spouse.
I will not consider divorce as something that I need to recover from; rather something I can heal through.

Your divorce mission statement will serve as a reminder of who you want to be at the end of your divorce. Keep it handy. You will need these reminders when things get tough.  The hard work of staying in touch with your mission, and realigning your behaviors to fit with your mission, will be worth it.

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